How to open ourselves once more to joy
Do you wake up joyful, looking forward to the day, or do you drag yourself out of bed, propping up your eyelids open with caffeine?
When the kids jump on you do you roll around with them, loving the feel of them hugging you, or do you tell them to get off, sit down and have breakfast?
Is life dragging you through it with only the comfort of a glass of wine and a decent night’s sleep to hope for?
We all go through really hard times in life and those are the times when it can be dangerous to our physical and emotional health – we can forget who we really are, go into addiction mode “Well, if I can’t have a drink/smoke now, then when can I?” How can we ease ourselves out of the despair, grief or sheer exhaustion, and start to see the light at the end of the tunnel instead of an oncoming train?
Here are a few possibilities you could try – maybe one today, and another tomorrow……do whatever you can, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t, and feel yourself slowly emerging from the chrysalis into the butterfly you once were.
If you are in a bad place, sit down now and make a list of what is on your mind – get it all out on paper – it helps put things in perspective.
- Movement/exercise – it doesn’t have to be a lot – if you can only manage once around the block then that’s fine – keeps us emotionally and physically regulated.
- Meditation – put your hands over your heart, imagine your feet sinking into the earth to help you feel grounded, smile (whether you feel like it or not as smiling stimulates release of ‘happiness hormones’ including dopamine, endorphins and serotonin.[1]
- Don’t shop when you’re unhappy – we buy the wrong food, the wrong clothes and are dropping into our addictions.
- Find things to feel grateful for morning and night, even if you don’t actually feel grateful! Write them down on waking and before sleeping – from a lovely dawn or sunset, to a good friendship, to having a roof over your head, to the comfort of your hot cup of tea – anything you can think of. This reinforces your sense of joy.
- Write down positive statements whether you believe them or not – affirmations such as ‘I am healthy and happy’, or ‘My life is good, I am so fortunate’. Speaking out loud, or writing down our affirmations help generate positivity about our lives, who we are and our experiences.[2]
- Get outside in Nature – “Research shows that people who are more connected with nature are usually happier in life and more likely to report feeling their lives are worthwhile. Nature can generate many positive emotions, such as calmness, joy, and creativity and can facilitate concentration”.[3]
- Work in the garden – a really positive way of lifting your mood, creating beauty with plants or feeding the family with vegetables. Working with hands in the soil makes us feel better.[4]
- Find a positive way of expelling the grief/misery/depression through physical activity or getting a job done, even if it’s only clearing out the cutlery drawer or doing a tiny bit of work in the garden – a sense of achievement plus the physical activity lifts our spirits and helps generate energy and positivity.
- Avoid sugar, alcohol, caffeine – these draw us bit by bit into a world of false highs and help us avoid the pain. Try and opt for fresh, unprocessed foods to give your body and mind the best chance to heal.
Nobody is saying it’s easy, when you feel so low you can hardly get out of bed. If you are bedbound then try the meditation and gratitude exercises. Try the smiling, even if you don’t feel like it – “Fake it till you make it”, knowing it will stimulate the happiness hormones. Take it little by little, focusing on the good things you can find in the day and trying to give yourself as much self-love and positive encouragement as you can. You can and will come out of it and feel joy again, and when it comes, it’s like life rushing back into us once more.
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile Accessed 18.7.25. There’s Magic in Your Smile. How smiling affects your brain. Sarah Stevenson. Posted June 25, 2012
[2] https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/ [Accessed 18.7.25]. Positive Daily Affirmations: Is There Science Behind It? 4 Mar 2019 by Catherine Moore, Psychologist, MBA Scientifically reviewed by Jo Nash, Ph.D.
[3] https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/research/nature-how-connecting-nature-benefits-our-mental-health [Accessed 18.7.25]. Mental Health Foundation. Nature: How connecting with nature benefits our mental health. Report reviewed by Professor Miles Richardson.
[4] https://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/health-and-wellbeing/articles/why-gardening-makes-us-feel-better [Accessed 18.7.25]. Why gardening makes us feel better – and how to make the most of it. Lauriane Suyin Chalmin-Pui and Laura Scruby (Science Team).
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile Accessed 18.7.25. There’s Magic in Your Smile. How smiling affects your brain. Sarah Stevenson. Posted June 25, 2012
[2] https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/ [Accessed 18.7.25]. Positive Daily Affirmations: Is There Science Behind It? 4 Mar 2019 by Catherine Moore, Psychologist, MBA Scientifically reviewed by Jo Nash, Ph.D.
[3] https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/research/nature-how-connecting-nature-benefits-our-mental-health [Accessed 18.7.25]. Mental Health Foundation. Nature: How connecting with nature benefits our mental health. Report reviewed by Professor Miles Richardson.
[4] https://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/health-and-wellbeing/articles/why-gardening-makes-us-feel-better [Accessed 18.7.25]. Why gardening makes us feel better – and how to make the most of it. Lauriane Suyin Chalmin-Pui and Laura Scruby (Science Team).